7 Girls a Geek Shouldn't Date
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Geeks are peculiar creatures with very specific needs and a life style on their own. It so happens that due to uncontrollable factors such as a nagging mom or a misaligned biological clock that renders his logic temporarily impaired, a geek might find himself obliged to take part in reproduction and the continuation of the human species. This pushes the geek to start seeking a partner. While others falsely interpret this as 'falling in love' and proceed through unnecessary mating procedures, a geek devises his own scheme to secure a partner while trying to fit in as much as possible (at least apparently) with the norms of society.
Being on his own in executing his plans, it is relatively easy for a geek to get confused and fall back to erroneous society-adopted mating models. It is important that a geek develops a thorough understanding of what makes a suitable partner. Here's a list of 7 types of girls a geek should definitely stay away from:
1 - The Emotional, Social or Talkative
Your life as a geek is spent mostly in deep and long silent stares into a laptop screen. Frequent interruptions grab you out of the digital world and make debugging your assembly programs much harder. It is important that your partner never interrupt you when you're focused and rather wait for your food or toilet breaks to approach you with any matters of concern. Your partner must be able to overcome their emotional insecurities on their own and should not propose any social activities that are out of schedule.
2 - The Web Programming Illiterate
As surprising as it may seem, natural selection is still in the process of eradicating these inferior individuals and it may take few more decades for them to completely disappear. A geek has to understand that during his mating endeavour he is at risk of coming in contact with female individuals who lack complete understanding of simple web technologies like DOM, CSS and AJAX. Unless you want to spend your life with somebody who doesn't know what an XMLHttpRequest object is, stay away.
3 - The Poor Server Administrator
Being able to administer and maintain home servers is crucial to a successful and happy marriage. While helping her install some antivirus software on her laptop might seem as a sign of bonding and affection at the beginning of your relationship, chances are such a partner will fail to maintain any future linux-based servers and will probably ask for your help even with a simple kernel upgrade. Your offspring won't have central file storage and might even have to setup their routing tables manually to connect to the Internet. This is preposterous ... ditch her!
4 - The Mac Girl
Geeks understand that Macs are very well suited for design work and presentations but are beaten by hand-held calculators in doing real computations. Girls fancy glowing stuff and sleek appearances and might be easily taken by the looks of a Snow Leopard desktop. It is important that your partner understands the pros and cons of each of the personal computer systems and are able to judge and make their choices objectively. If the female candidate uses a Mac but is neither a graphics designer nor in a job that requires frequent slideshow presentations, take her off the list.
5 - The Materialist
This genre of people is often the source of great distress to their partners. They are obsessed with superficial things that possess no real life value and often render the life of people around them too uncomfortable. To the geek, such people represent an even greater disaster and should be at least avoided if you think that taking their hearts out and slicing them using CNC machines running your customized driving software is a bit of an overkill. To know if she's a materialist or not, ask her whether she'd buy another pair of shoes or rather get herself extra 2GBs of RAM.
6 - The "Challenged by High School Physics"
Your household is the nurturing home of your offspring and the love nest for you and your partner. It is also a complex physical environment that requires monitoring and frequent adjustments to ensure it remains a suitable habitat. Your partner must be completely fluent in Physics to understand your arguments regarding the dynamics of air flow, heat transfer, entropy and electromagnetic radiation. Ideally, you wouldn't need to explain to her why leaving the fridge door open in a sealed environment will increase the temperature.
7 - The Facebook Addict
Choosing a partner who has a Facebook profile is more dangerous than you think. Not only does her usage slow down your torrent downloads and her ignorance regarding Facebook's policy set a bad example to your offspring but she might as well be disclosing sensitive information about you on her profile. Your friends will read that it took you 4 hours last night to debug that silly exception in your C# .NET class and that you still refer to MSDN when you're stuck with something you don't know. If she's unwilling to switch to reading Wikipedia in her spare time, get rid of her.
13 Response(s) to "7 Girls a Geek Shouldn't Date"
Ehab said:
Well, I guess it would have been much easier to describe the kind of girl a geek SHOULD date! :)
Ghaith said:
That would be the inverse set of all the mentioned above combined.
Douja said:
Love this post, so original and well thought out
Ghaith said:
Thank you!
Ehab said:
Hey Ghaith, I went to school with you! Hala sadeeqi! Shu eimta raje3 3al balad?
Ghaith said:
You gotta be kidding, Dababneh?
How are you doing man? long time no see. What are you up to nowadays? done with uni I hope?
Am planning on coming over on Christmas for sometime. Maybe we can catch up then :)
Ehab said:
Ehhh. Not Dababneh, Ali. Sorry to disappoint you :)
Yeah, done with uni, medicine, doing my emtiaz at Al-Bashir. Bashouf Sami, Dababneh and the others. We'll catch up in Christmas. See you then. :)
Ghaith said:
lol, happy to hear from you just as much Ehab! I thought you were Dababneh because "Hala sadeeqi" is so Dababneh, lol!
Glad to know you're onto blogging as well, I have added your feed to my reader. Please pass my regards to our comrades and stay in touch :)
Lubna said:
YOU cracked me up... no comment! at all.
benshof sho ra7 ye6la3 ma3ak option bil a5er.. and would appreciate it if you'd post the 10 types a geek should date!
Ghaith said:
lol, the options for people like me are limited. Personally I think I'd settle with anything except #1.
Anyway, am afraid there is no list for the types of girls a geek should date. Girls that qualify for such a list will be either of alien origins or a different species altogether.
lubna Taimeh said:
I think you might be surprised at the girl that you'd end up with..
we'll see till then;)
thoughts_from_ a_flashforward said:
this post is a bit biased, don't you think?...why would you suppose that all geeks are men ;)
Ghaith said:
Because they are? ;)
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